lost

its not very often that i share the things that i write but ive been goin through somethings lately and this is a big way that i let things off my chest so i hope yall enjoy...

"lost in translation"

lost in translation of my mind
thoughts running wildly out of control
not knowing where to turn or where to hide
my heart bleeds to tell a story
but no blood is there
my mouth screams only to be heard
but no sounds is resounding
my soul is lost and broken
in the abyss of the past
the grasp of the hurt and pain
refuses to release
how empty and lonely it feels
what once was alive is now dead
dried up and lifeless...

dropping to my knees
raising my hands, crying out
GOD! GOD! CANT YOU HEAR ME!?
i cant do this without you...

~J.D.

life...

i just finished watching the movie the bucket list...it was a really good movie...its one of those movies that make you think afterward though...well at least it did to me. take you life and live it while you have it...go out and see the wonders of the world that god created...go out and do the things you have always dreamed of doing and hell if they seem impossible do everything you can to try to make it happen so you cant every look back and say i never tried. don't ever take your life for granted. even in the hard times in life even though it seems out there sit back and really think and be grateful for what you do have in your life...your family, friends, and the memories that come along with it all. this movie even made me sit back see how ive treated my own life...i was a 15 year old kid on his death bed and for some reason god speared me and aloud be the privilege to live the rest of my life and experience everything life has to offer and i lost sight of that and i got to thinking that i haven't been living my life to the fullest. there is so much more i can do to make my life better and experience as much as i can while i still can. i sit here and i thank god that i am able to be sitting here writing this blog cause lord knows i should not even be alive. from this day forward i will live my life to the fullest extant that i possibly can. every dream every ambition that you have for your life make sure you do everything that is humanly possible that you can to make that dream or ambition come true or im purdy sur one day you will look back and wish that you had...

Weightloss Extravaganza: Week Uno

it is time for me to reshape myself...literally. needless to say im a big guy everyone knows that im a naturally a big framed kinda guy but i have the gut on top of it. back about 3 years ago after i graduated i was 6'3 and about 385 pounds...went off to college with no vehicle just my feet and a bicycle and i lost about 65 pounds in about 6 months walkin and riding my bike about 6-8 miles a day...home-work-school-back home or just a joy ride i felt great and was lookin hot ;-) one week before i was movin back home right near graduation time my bike was stolen from my apartment building so i went back home to momma's cookin and then bought a truck...i gained about 45 back after that so i was up to 360 again...after i have moved up here Alabama i have lost about 15 pounds in the few months i have been here but i am on a long term goal of gettin down to 250...to be totally honest with ya if i was less than that id prolly look like a dern bean poll. Any way i have great motivation and great support to make sure im stayin straight. ill keep ya posted weekly on how things are goin.

A Thank You to Our Troops

Men and woman fight for our country everyday and i don't believe they get the recognition that they deserve for what they do for our freedom on an everyday basis. i hear all day long how we shouldn't be fighting in this war and how i wish they would just bring everyone home and this is pointless to continue the war. Stop being so dadgum selfish in your lives. stop and think of what you might have or how you might be living if it weren't for those that are willing to serve for YOU. you know if it weren't for them being brave, sacrificial, selfless enough that they wanted to sign that dotted line to defend our country at any account including their own life then you and i wouldn't be able to walk out our front door and not be in fear of our own life or be able to attend what ever church we wanted too we would be demanded to do what ever the government wanted us to do and live a certain way....so for that i thank god we have people that are willing to take such a burden as that.i myself would be right by their side if i could be...i just wish people would realize that we have what we have and we can do what we want in our everyday lives because of those people out there fighting for it. So here is a thank you from the bottom of my heart to those out there defending my freedom and my right to live the way i want...and a personal thank you to my buddies and family that are in the midst of it all James Copeland, Billy Benham, Jason Stinton, and my brother Skip and anyone else i know that serve i love you guys....and thank you for all you do.

Just a lil somethin

so i was sittin here tryin to figure out what to write about and im stumped tonight so ill share a very old poem of mine that i came across the other day...just a background on it. this was back when i was sick and went through a major depression this would have to be one of the deepest things i have ever wrote...

“torn”

Torn apart piece by piece my heart is shredded into small red pieces like blood dripping from a wound ironic it’s the blood from the same wound that you created, ripped inside my flesh cant take it anymore, hurting so bad that it feels like a internal war, killing me a little at a time though I may look happy I’m not…what has happened to me… I cry out from the depths of my soul I just want to be normal I just want to have my life back...you never knew how much that you hurt me but every little name every little tease every time you just happen to not see me standing right next to you its like you just pushed me closer to the edge…..and now I’m there…you may have thought that everything you did, say, or think was harmless it wasn’t it was like telling me to that I am worthless and no good you never know what words really mean to a person till they are gone….questions running through my head at a million miles an hour what would it really have an impact on people if I was gone or would they just say oh well…... will i be remembered how i would like or will i be remembered as the fat guy that is stupid and never had any friends i just dont know and i dont want to have to find out but you have pushed me to the point where nothing matters anymore nothing at all.... you have pushed me to the edge and i am falling off fast... no net... no pillow.... just a jagged edge slidding slowly into my heart....

hey whats goin on? i came to the realization today that sometimes i just have way to much time on my hands and that it would be a good idea to share my pathetic useless adventures with whom ever shall want to read this blog...today i will start out with pick up lines that would never work...

roses are red violets are well violet is candy really sweet or is that just you?

Hey baby, yer kinda sexy. Can i get in yer britches?

Hey do you think you could hook me up with yer mom?

Your so not the type of girl id take home to momma.

I have ruffies in my pocket. want some?